Getting to your dream is simple, it’s not easy. One of the most important things you will have to do to get to your dream is change your paradigm. You are where you are today because of your beliefs and thinking. Look around you, are you happy with the results? Is there room for improvement? If you can identify your discontent, then identify your thinking around that discontent (the thinking that got you there) you could very well change your thinking and move into your next dream as simply as that. But most of us don’t recognize the thinking that got us here or how it’s holding us back.
What is a paradigm and how do you change it? Google’s definition of paradigm is: a typical example or pattern of something; a model. So in this post, a paradigm is the pattern of thinking that got you here. I’ve said it before, we are very addicted to our paradigms, or patterns of thinking to the point we will defend them to our death. How’s that working for you?
I’m reading an interesting book right now called The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. I’m not finished with it yet but the premise is to notice what you are noticing, figure out who you are without your thoughts and live a life of bliss. This is quite mind-blowing, the fact that we do not have to attach to every thought that comes to us. As a matter of fact most of this mind chatter can be ignored, should be ignored and isn’t important. It only serves to upset us and make us crazy.
I’ve talked about Byron Katie before and I’m a huge fan of “The Work” to the point that I have changed my life in many ways that help me detach from my thoughts to get to a place where I am blissfully happy most of the time. I do not watch the news or read newspapers; it’s not worth me giving my time or thoughts to the negativity and gossipy nature of the news. If there is something important, trust me I will hear about it and then I can decide how I want it to affect my life. If your thoughts do not serve you and make you happy, then change your thoughts.
This is very difficult for victims. “Yes, but my situation is different….he did this to me or she said that about me, so I have every right to be mad and unhappy”. That is strictly your choice and your ego making that choice. If you want to let those things affect you negatively then they will. If you want to let them go, and be happy, then do that instead. We are very addicted to our need for self-determination. From the age of two we start sticking up for ourselves and this serves us until it doesn’t anymore. I’m not saying become a doormat but what does it really matter that you hold on to your beliefs and thoughts that are no longer serving you. Why would you insist on that when it’s keeping you from your dream?
I have a friend who did not believe she could find a soul mate. Her paradigm, her belief system, told her, that at 55 she was too old to find happiness. She believed that men her age liked younger women. She had stopped dying her hair; she assumed no man would want a woman with grey hair. She lives in a small town and her assumption was that of course there were no men there who would be interested. She had a pattern of thinking that kept men from showing up in her life. I would ask her to believe that she could find someone, believe there was someone perfect for her. She listened but couldn’t quite get to the belief. At least she was on dating sites and would meet up with men when she went to the city so she hadn’t completely given up.
The fact that she was taking steps toward her dream (she was on dating sites), even though her belief system was against her was critical. It’s sometimes difficult to get through our belief system to the place where we can truly believe in our dream, taking steps makes it easier for us to get our subconscious on board. Give yourself a little piece of believing that you are in it to win. Your mind will get you the rest of the way there. By the way, my friend met a man at a gallery reception in another city; he was a doctor who worked at a hospital not 5 miles from her house. They started dating and yes they are now happily married. If she can do it with a little paradigm shift, you can too.
